Sex. Say it out loud, if you haven’t in a while. Think about the sounds as it leaves your lips. Taste it on your tongue. Feel the warmth as you imagine your last blissful encounter.
Perhaps, that too, has been a long while ago? Life isn’t all about sex, but as humans, animals, and Sexual creatures…we need touch, taste, smell, and sex! Even the strongest of human spirits thinks about sex. Not in the dirty, messy ways that some of us do, but in a more classical way. Reproductive necessity, or the mutual meeting of souls, perhaps a cosmic duality.
Women are still declaring and owning our sexuality. Only, it’s more public, more… under the microscope, than it would be…has been for men.
Men are expected to be virile, predatory, and smooth when it comes to sex. Right out of the chute straight men are expected to magaically know how to please themselves and the woman they are with. Not possible. Some of us are more sexually charged than others, this includes both sexes. In men, this is expected, celebrated …even.
However, for women…the stigma is a polar opposites. Girls are taught to hide, then flaunt our bodies. We are told and pushed to stay chaste, demure. And yet we are pressured to experiment, with men AND women. Allowed to be liberal with whom we sleep, but not allowed to be open about what /who we do. It is confusing and confining at the same time.
Suppose one day we take the plunge. Get married to some man or woman who makes our heart flutter, our smile a little brighter. And time goes by. Kids come, bills, responsibilities, pets, homes, more pressure for both men, and women. No matter which sex you are, or marry. The truth is, it’s not easy to navigate Sexual waters for anyone.
The sad truth remains, most couples aren’t mutually fulfilled sexually in their marriages. No one person’s fault, really. Just that one wants to please the other, the other doesn’t need to think about happiness, as they are getting the attention that we all need. But party #1 is still unfulfilled, and afraid to rock the marital bed.
But it remains so for as long as the first party can take it, or until the 2nd party notices that #1 feels like they aren’t there anymore. Very soon they drift apart. Neither wanting to upset the routine of sex, or getting no sex, simply because neither had the balls to start a conversation , you know….the one no one ever thinks they will have.
Babe, sex isn’t working for me anymore. I love sex, but you and I aren’t connecting. We aren’t into the same stuff. We don’t want the same things. We aren’t compatible.
So many choices are available at this juncture. Stay and work it out. Open up sexually. Open the marriage, sexually. Try new things. Get out, and cut your lives in half. Or maybe just secretly, take a lover. Unburden your marital bed, and alleviate it in another’s.
Whatever your choice, there will always be complications. And nothing, I mean NOTHING, feels as good as Sexual freedom, Sexual fulfillment. Nothing compares to that level of service to the soul! NOTHING. It’s addictive, sweet, salty, sweaty, messy, clean, light, heavy, and completely unforgettable. Your body will never crave any drug or potion the way it will sex. No, not just sex, but great, mind blowing, more than a body can feel, amazing sex! Be it with your life partner, or your lover.
Believe me when I say sex is the very life and death of alot of marriages, just not in the typical ways. Sex is the beast that you hunt, and the prize you win at the end. Sex is meant to be felt, heard, tasted, and KNOWN!
If you’re not happy with the sex you get, it’s YOUR fault. You have a multitude of ways and means to fix that. Open, or clandestine, you are responsible for your Sexual happiness.
Until you have to make those decisions for yourself, can you fully understand the true importance of intimate Sexual relationships, and their complexities?
So I ask you all, do not judge until you know every part of this scenario. But my options, as I perceived them, were quite limited. And being the reckless type, I’m sure you already know which choice I made. I like things the way I like them. I needed more than what I was getting and I pled my case to my spouse, who routinely satisfies himself with my body. Then jumps quickly into a hot shower, and back into bed, to snore all night in my ear.
Not enough for a divorce, and certainly not enough to tear my kids lives apart. But Mommy needs more, and Daddy won’t provide. I need supplemental sex. And that doesn’t come with a prescription.