I am laying at the edge of my bed, running my fingers through my hair, as it hangs off the side. The cool air of the window unit, blowing through every strand. It’s getting longer; even if it’s a bit thinner. Longer and much darker than you’ve seen it. I like the color, it suits me so much more than baby blonde. I realize you liked the blonde, but it’s blue/black now. 

It falls like an inky, sinister shadow, clinging in curls around my neck, and spiking downward past my shoulders. I do my best to keep it shiny and smooth. Brushing lightly, or finger combing it to relax. Daydreaming, remembering,  and viewing new scenarios in my head, with a happier tone than what we have now.

You knew me as a blonde girl, able to wrap men around my pinkie with a sweet smile or an insolent pout of my lips. While I know my hair isn’t the part of me you treasured, it is the one thing I could change, one that could halt you, if only for a moment.

I imagine you catching a glimpse of me, on a crowded square. People rushing between us, but you see me watching you. My eyes, the ones you fell for, holding you for a scant few seconds. You feel me, see me, and your breath stops as you stare into the eyes of a different woman than you knew.

The same eyes you stared into for long minutes, between breaths. The same eyes that rendered you speechless, and shaking as we met in the airport. The same eyes that never stopped smiling when you looked into them.

The same eyes that cried tears…when you forgot me.

I cannot change my eyes. I dont want to. I do wish it were you stroking your fingers through my hair. I still dream it. I still beg the stars, as always. 

Your eyes won’t see these words. Yet, I pray to the stars every night, asking them to carry my thoughts to you…

Only you know if it works.


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