If you loved me the way I love you … Watch “Train – Drive By” on YouTube

It’s an old song, and likely the oldest story ever told. One sided love. It hurts. It bites, and it’s also the only way I know I can love unconditionally. 
Time, age, space, distance, and silence has done nothing to smother this flame. So what if I am acting completely irrational! It only shows commitment, in my commitment. And screw you, if you don’t interpret my obsessive emails and continuous postings about my broken heart, as they were intended!  Clearly, I am not the loose nut!
I may be aggressive, confrontational, emotional, and of questionable sanity, but dammit you are my soul mate! You know it!  You knew it before we even met! You  sweetly and quite unsoberly muttered those three little words…and I smiled brighter than I ever could. At the time I assumed your meds were the cause. However, I did reciprocate your words, with my own true heartfelt love! Bastard!
You did this to me and then left me broken, and I never want to be without that pain…unless you finally relent and agree that we SHOULD be together! But you won’t.  I see that man who looks like you, and for a fraction of a second my heart skips, I live and die in that breath when I catch his gaze. He must think I’m crazy, I mostly am. Though, the number of times this has happened…he must think I have started stalking him!  
In some weird way, I hope he can relay that sense of seeing me through his eyes , to you. Still, there isn’t  another you. There isn’t another me. We have already met one another, and there isn’t any going back. Our moments are all ours, and nothing will sully those memories. No matter what you try to forget. We were never more happy than when we were face to face, skin to skin, soul to soul….
I will always love you, no matter the pain, and also because of it.


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