Let’s begin at the beginning.
CLOTHES! You self-righteous, unapologetic, fabric demons! I hate you all. Everything from foundation wear, to evening wear! You all have a secret agenda – destroy any positive body image I may have. Yes, I know I have put on weight. That happens when people start medications like mine. Those drugs are designed to slow you down so you don’t freak out over stupid little shit, like the fact that you have to buy new clothes! And others are designed to make you not care that you had to go up 4 sizes in the span of a year! They also slow down your metabolism, sex drive, and motivation! So yeh…I’m fat, and upset about it, but give my xanax time to kick in and I wont give a flying fuck about anything. I am trying very hard to be more active. I purchased some workout-like clothes and a hopefully supportive bra, to help me get motivated to get my lazy ass up and start walking. I know it isn’t much, but one has to begin somewhere!
Food, you have the same agenda. I love you and hate you. I eat one meal a day. typically its the family dinner. However, I have realized no matter how little I eat, I’m not really burning the extra calories, carbs, and sugars that I eat in that one meal. So I added a metabolism booster to my spring water to help me burn something when I’m not so active. Every little bit helps. However, my husband’s snide remarks have only managed to add to my sense of defeat. I’m tired of gym membership commercials, and 5,000 recipes for wonderful water detox systems that do nothing! Movement, activity, and diet change are what is needed! Despite your beckoning call, Little Debbie!!!!
I love and adore my children. I love their quirks and questions. Their idiosyncrasies, and their bravery to be who they are. That being said, I think I’ve had my fill of the Pink panther theme song, and an off-key saxophone rendition of Eye of the Tiger. I find myself often frustrated with their lack of concern for the state of the house. To remedy that I have devised a system of snack eating, which should help curb some of the more disruptive and disgusting habits they have formed. For instance, I have threatened them both, that if either of them does not follow the rules, they will both lose their tv/movie/game privileges! Every after school snack is labeled with a name, an equal portion size, and a reminder to eat additional fruit. They are then required to return their label to the inside of the cabinet door, and all dishes to the sink. If any one of these steps are not followed, they BOTH lose privileges. I am tired of finding apple cores stuffed between my couch cushions, and chip wrappers under their beds!
WE are not a zoo, and I am not a keeper! They are both old enough to walk the entire 10 feet to the kitchen and clean up after themselves! I also had to go so far as to label many foods “off limits”, as I am trying to stretch my budget as far as I can. They would happily go through as many snacks as possible in one afternoon! However, my grocery budget is about $250.00 every two weeks. And feeding teenage boys is rather a lot like feeding a sinkhole!
The stress and frustration is there. I am dealing. Perhaps, not as well as most. Though I do try. Frustrations and set backs will happen, and I need to learn to accept that, make appropriate changes, and hopefully, move on.